My 2 Year Anniversary in Africa :)

Sunday, June 26:

            Well, today is my 2-year recovery and I almost forgot until I saw the date on my computer this morning.  It kind of stinks because nobody knows that I am in recovery except for Anna, and I haven’t told her that today is my 2-years.  That’s okay though, because my recovery is about me, and the fact that I am in Africa making a huge difference in people’s lives is a true showing of all the progress I have made.  2 years ago, I couldn’t even take care of and make myself happy, let alone other people.  I am very proud of myself, but I have also learned a lot about myself while being in Africa and have realized that there is a lot more progress for me to make. I am still extremely critical of myself and compare myself to everyone around me.  And by comparing myself, I am referring to comparing my body.  Africa has been an extra challenge for me since I haven’t been tanning and am officially paler than I am in the winter at home. True statement.  Also, having to wear clothes that I would not wear at home and also not being able to workout here, even though I know I am being active everyday while with the kids and walking to the bus, exc.  This whole trip has been challenging with ED, and while the days here have gotten easier, they also get harder.  The only time I feel that I am truly distracted from ED and my appearance is when I’m at school with the children, or when I get to come home after school and change into my typical yoga pants and tee-shirts.  I have also realized while being here that I rarely live in the moment.  I am always thinking of the future, and while being ambitious is a great thing, it’s not great when it holds me back from truly engaging in present situations and letting myself take in every moment.  I have really been focusing on trying to do that here, but I am always thinking about what am I going to teach the children tomorrow?, or what can I do today to make me feel better about my appearance tomorrow?, or constantly wondering about the safari and the orphanage.  I really need to make myself stay focused on the present, on this day. Carpe diem.  I want to leave Africa having no regrets, feeling that I gave my all to these children and really engulfed myself in every activity and event that took place.  I know that most of the reasons I am not able to “seize the day” is because I am still so self-conscious about many parts of myself that the thoughts tend to consume me.  Although I don’t act on those thoughts and take it out on my eating, or myself which is huge progress in 2 years! I still need to work on not letting the thoughts consume me.  Hopefully sometime very soon, the thoughts won’t exist at all and I’ll finally be able to think and act completely 100% normally about body image.

            Anyways, today has been a complete lazy day, which I definitely needed! We all woke up at 9 am (got to sleep in, woohoo!) and got breakfast and sandwiches to make for lunch later.  Katie and I came back to our rooms and read (I’ve been reading so much on this trip and Katie’s given me some great books!), and then went back to sleep.  Now it is 2 pm, and I am about to get ready for the dinner Annie is throwing for us tonight at her house. She is cooking us all dinner and there is a cash bar, but other than that I don’t really know the plan for tonight.  I will post again when I get back tonight, probably around 7 is my guess. Katie and I have no idea what we will be teaching this week, but thankfully in that regard there’s only 3 days of us teaching.  Well, touch base later! Peace, love, Malawi.

Tonight was the most perfect recovery celebration I could have imagined thanks to Annie and all the amazing people on this trip with me.  We arrived to Annie’s house at about 4 pm and from the moment we got there we were all absolutely shocked.  We pulled up and were welcomed by a Church choir as well as a tribal dance ceremony.   Her house was, without a doubt, the most beautiful house we have seen in Malawi and Dr. Kelly said that in accordance with American standards, Annie would probably be a millionaire. How crazy is that? (Yes, I do realize how often I am using this expression, but things are continuing to surprise me each and every day.)  We all socialized, drank and danced for about an hour before our amazing dinner was served. It was, by far, the best meal I have had on this trip, and the fact that it was free made it that much better. (Not like the 3-dollar meals here are costing me much money, anyways.) 

The dinner setup was so beautiful.  There were long red tablecloths on 3 long tables, with the exact number of chairs for all of us.  The dinner was buffet style, and I had some rice and beans, a vegetable mix, and a little bit of spaghetti bolognaise.  Of course we all spotted the 2 chocolate cakes from the moment we arrived, so I was saving up room for the dessert when everyone was going up for seconds of dinner.  Finally we had the dessert, and although I probably wouldn’t have liked it in America, it definitely hit the spot and we were all so excited to finally have a sweet.  Of course I indulged in 2 pieces, as most of us did, since we’ve all been craving sweets for the past 2 weeks.  After dinner, it started getting dark and we tribal danced for about an hour and then had another showing from the choir who had the most beautiful voices.  To wrap up the night, we danced in the “Discoteca”, where Annie had huge speakers set up on a stage outside and blasted fun dancing music.  We all got to meet Willie and Annie’s family, which was so nice, and the evening was just perfect.

On the way back to the Lodge at about 8:30, I realized how truly proud of how far I have come.  Even though I have progress to make, who doesn’t have progress to make in their lives?  I’m just fortunate enough to know where progress is needed, and what I need to do to get there.  While I might not be able to eat what I want while I am here, or be able to workout, I am living exactly like 20 other teenagers my age are living and that is a huge accomplishment in itself.  Well, that wraps up another great week. Talk tomorrow. Peace, love, Malawi.

It's the Freaking Weekend :)

Saturday, June 25:

            Today was a great day and absolutely beautiful! We woke up at 7 am, had breakfast, and all piled on the bus to head to Mt. Mulanje, which was three hours away. As we were about two hours into the trip, we could start seeing the mountain and it was the highest peak I have ever seen in my life.  Mt. Mulanje is the third biggest mountain in all of Africa and it blended in with the clouds because it was so high up.  When we pulled up to Mt. Mulanje, we were swarmed with tour guides who were trying to get on our bus and begging us to hire them as their tour guides.  I guess it’s easy money for them to walk up the hill and then get paid 1500 kwacha, which is about 6 American dollars.  It was hysterical because they were all shouting at Dr. Kelly and she was not having it.  She finally pulled three people into our bus, and they rode with us to the starting point where we then all piled out of the car.  We used the restrooms at one of the hostels on the mountain, which was so cute! Dr. Kelly said that since it takes over three days to complete the entire hike, a lot of people would camp out at hostels that are located along the way of the mountain. How cool is that? It was like a little retreat house.   We finally all headed up the hill, stopping only a few times along the 2.5 mile hike up.  And when I say “hike up”, I mean it; the entire thing was up hill and at a few point you had to hold on to trees to hoist yourself up.  After about an hour, we finally got to our stopping point, which still seemed to be at the very bottom of the mountain, but it was a great stopping point.  We arrived at a beautiful, clear waterfall where we all ate our lunches, took pictures and climbed down to put our feet in the waterfall and climb on rocks.  It was such a beautiful day, and we were little in the middle of a mountain underneath a waterfall.  It was so peaceful, and I couldn’t imagine actually hiking to the top of the mountain since in an hour we made basically zero progress to the top! We all hung out at the waterfall for about 45 minutes or so, and then headed back to the bottom since we were on a time crunch to try to get back before dark.  On the way out, we stopped at the vendors, but there were only a few so I didn’t buy anything. I’m saving my money for next week when we go to Mt. Mvuu because apparently the vendors there have much more to chose from.  On the ride back, we witnessed the most beautiful sunset.  The sky was all perfectly white clouds and a completely pink sky with a bright orange sun.  It was amazing! It’s crazy how with all the pictures I have taken while being here, none of them give Africa any justice .  All the pictures of the scenery and sunsets and mountains are nothing compared to the beauty in person.  We finally arrived back at Annie’s at about 7 and we rushed to take showers and order food since we were starving.  Our normal group (Katie, me, Bebe, Allison, Lindsay, Ashley, Anna and Kaitlin) all ate together, feeling great that we had finally gotten a days worth of good exercise.  Some of us drank, but we were pretty exhausted, so everyone went to bed except Allison, Bebe, Katie and myself.  We all stayed up looking at pictures and talking, and were so proud of ourselves for staying up until midnight haha!  Well, that was all the excitement for today.  We are all getting so anxious for the safaris on Wednesday, and we are also all freaking out that we have already been here for 2 weeks, knowing that the second 2 weeks are going to go by even faster.  Craziness.  Peace, love, Malawi. 

It's Fridayyyyy!

Friday, June 24:

            Today was a great ending to the week, but nothing out of the ordinary happened! My seven little boys have become part of my daily routine now, with the whole walking with me to the bus and being my little posse haha!  Today, Katie and I taught the human body and I think that was a really great lesson because they really didn’t know as much as we thought they did.  We asked for a volunteer and then we body traced him on big chart paper that we glued together.  The kids all thought it was a riot and then we hung up the body tracing on the chalkboard and went through labeling body parts.  Then, we took the picture down and handed out worksheets to see what they remembered.  They all got eyes and ears confused, and they really had problems spelling most of the words.  That took about an hour, and then we graded the worksheets and handed out puzzles.  The kids all broke into groups of about 20, and they were really confused, yet fascinated, by the concept of the puzzles.  They had never seen them before, and it took awhile for them to catch one.  It took about 45 minutes for them to actually put the 50-piece puzzles together, but once they did they were so proud of themselves and it was really great to see!  Even the teacher had never seen puzzles before and she said it was a great thing for them to do.  While they were working on the puzzles, Katie discretely called out students 2 by 2 to take their picture outside so that next week we can make their “passports”.  Of course, once the word got out that she was taking pictures, it was nearly impossible to contain them from all running in front of the camera.  I think it worked though, and they’ll love seeing pictures of themselves.

            When school was over, my little posse walked me over to the school where we were getting picked up and I gave them bags of sunchips and a juice.  More kids followed us today, however, so they literally got like one chip each but they seemed happy.  We then all loaded onto the bus and went downtown, where the Tech girls all got fabric and Dr. Kelly is going to have sashes made for us for graduation! That made me really excited because the fabric is so unique and definitely Malawian, and it’s a way to secure us girls will all remain friends during out senior year.  Katie, Ashley and I also bought fabric and plan on getting bags made, which I hope, will turn out really cute.  Us girls all finally had dinner together tonight, since we’ve been making our own food for the past week, and I seriously love every girl here! We then decided to crash Dr. Kelly’s room and talked to her for a good hour while we were all in our pj’s.  She cracks me up! The conversation actually almost entirely revolved around me and my Alldredge stories, but I enjoyed sharing them although I didn’t give them the really personal details but hopefully that’ll come with time.  Anyways, tomorrow we are going to Mt. Mulanje, the third highest peak in all of Africa! It is about a 3-hour ride there, but will be completely worth it.  I am so excited for the fresh air, exercise and beautiful pictures.  That’s all for now, Peace, Love, Malawi.

Day 4 teaching

Thursday, June 23:

            Today was another great day and I feel so blessed to have these children in my life.  It is definitely getting hard for me with the ED struggle because I’m getting so pale and the wardrobe is out of my comfort zone.  It’s definitely been a good challenge though and the second that I step off that bus at the school I completely forget about my appearance or weight.

            Katie and I decided to teach math today with flashcards and beads.  We started with easy multiplication flashcards, and it was the same students answering the questions so then I started writing harder ones on the board like “20 x 13” and we would call people up to answer them who hadn’t been raising their hands.  We did this for about 45 minutes and the kids really love math.  Then, we pulled out the bags of beads and all hell broke loose haha! We didn’t count, but we knew we made a rough estimate of about 1500 beads so we were planning on giving about 10ish to each student.  However, since there aren’t desks and the children just sit on the floor, they always move around and you lose track of who you have handed to and who you haven’t.  Kids were hiding beads in their pockets saying they hadn’t gotten any but my boys Chisisi and Edward had my back and were telling me which ones were lying haha!   After everyone got their beads, we wrote a list on the board of things they had to do with their beads.  For example, make a square with your beads, make the first letter of your name with your beads, place them in size from smallest to biggest, make a circle with your beads, exc.  The kids really liked it and were really engaged.  After that, we pulled out the string and let them all make bracelets.  There were kids who had like 30 beads and others who only had like 5, so we would go around giving handfuls to those that didn’t have many.  Again, people would start hiding their beads!  Definitely a huge challenge of teaching 100 plus students who don’t have desks or speak English. However, they all absolutely loved it and were showing off their bracelets to everyone!  Whenever one of them smiles, I swear my heart breaks. Onida had never seen beads before so we told her to make a bracelet too and she absolutely loved it.  I can’t wait to leave all my skirts and extra school supplies with her.  She’s beautiful inside and out.

            Then we had break and I brought the jump rope and soccer ball again today, which is always so much easier because then there’s not hundreds of students in a circle around you, waiting for you to entertain them.  Half of the kids were playing soccer, half were jump roping and then only a few were surrounding me haha!  They were all having so much fun so we gave them a really long break including songs (Eminem is their new favorite), dancing and games.   Before we knew it, it was noon and time for us to go, however, I knew my seven little boys would be over to see me at MIE.  Sure enough, as we were walking over to the Demonstration School, my seven little nuggets came running over screaming “Kelsey!” (pronounced Kessie).

We all walked over together, holding hands, and all the girls were taking pictures saying how jealous they were that I was so close with my class.  It really did make me feel so blessed.

            On the walk over, I gave them a soda, goldfish and a granola bar and they all shared it pretty equally.  I then took out the soccer ball, and we played volleyball at the top of the hill for a good 30 minutes until Willie came with the bus!  They were all hugging me and asking to take pictures with me, and I almost started to cry when thinking about how truly attached I am getting to them.  I want to do something with these children in my future, and I am determined to make their futures brighter.  It honestly keeps me up at night when I think about all I want to do for these children, but don’t know if I can.  If it was easy, I swear to God I’d bring all seven of them home to the United States with me. (Don’t worry mom, I know that’s not possible.)  Their smiles are completely contagious, and they warm my heart every morning without fail.  As exhausting  as the days are, I wish I could just play with them all day because after we leave the schools, we just go around town and then come back to the Lodge.  I guess it’s a good thing, for me, that we don’t stay any longer because I’m already crushed when I have to leave them every day.  Tomorrow I think I’m going to bring in my jar of peanut butter since I’ve been eating the Malawain peanut butter.  Peanut butter is so filling and so good for you, so I’m going to give it to my seven little boys when they walk with me again tomorrow, and tell them to bring some to their families.   Hopefully they won’t go hungry over the weekend now.  I don’t have spoons to give them, but the jars still completely filled so they can just dig in.

            Tomorrow Katie and I are bringing in 20 50-piece puzzles because the children don’t know what puzzles are.  I think they’ll have a ball with them, as well as work how to learn together and how to visualize something in their heads.  We are also going to try to take their pictures so that we can get them developed and they can make a “passport” next week, but I know once we pull out the cameras their all going to come running.  We have “human body” worksheets, so I think one of us will work on those with them and the other one of us will call students out one by one to take their picture outside.  We’ll see if it works, but I hope it does because that’d be such a cute keepsake for them to have. Well, that’s all for now. Nothing but the children on my mind! Peace, love, Malawi.

            So, a quick humor relief.  Tonight I ate a bug, on complete accident, and it was absolutely terrifying. So, the power went out (casual) while me and Katie were munching on my trail mix.  As I was typing on my computer I felt what I thought was a peanut on my lap and, normally, took a bite out of it.  I quickly realized it was definitely not a peanut and whatever it was tasted kind of peppermint-y at first, but then started burning.  I thought maybe it was a piece of sugar cane that somebody had dropped on my bed (no other explanation).  I spit it out of my month and quickly shined my computer on what I had just put in my mouth, I screamed at the top of my lungs after I saw the dead bug lying on my lap.  I ran into the bathroom to rinse my mouth out, still screaming and mouth still on fire, while Katie and Jameson are laughing hysterically.  Within minutes I think everybody at Annie’s had heard I ate a stinkbug.  Glad somebody got a kick out of it, and glad I know now that I could never be on Fear Factor!

3rd day teaching

Wednesday, June 22:

            Today was completely, purely blissful and probably one of the happiest days of my entire life.  Before this trip, the happiest day of my life would consist of gaining the perfect body (no pun intended), scoring the best boyfriend and suddenly being loaded with money.  However, today was the happiest and most perfect day for me because we pulled up to school and you could spot me and Katie’s class from a mile away by the way they were clinging onto their new bags, my children then loved the lesson we taught them and were completely engaged, and I got even closer to my seven favorite little boys, who then all walked me to the other school holding my hands.

            I woke up feeling a lot better this morning, going into today with a positive attitude and telling myself that everything I was freaking out about yesterday wasn’t even an issue in the minds of others.  We headed to the schools were we pulled up to the children screaming “azungo” meaning white people.  It was actually really funny, they were all saying it and cheering.  Our fifth graders who were all calling us by name immediately attacked Katie and me, and it made me feel really special because a lot of the other students still don’t know their teachers names.  A teacher in training came for the first half-hour and taught the kids some math, while me and Katie sat by, fixing broken bags from the day before and handing out the nine notebooks to the boys who didn’t get them yesterday as well as the bags to the three girls.  I immediately felt relieved because now everyone was on the same page.  After the teachers left, Katie and I hung up the calendar that we made (which turned out so well!) and told them all to get out their notebooks that we made them.  We asked them how many minutes were in an hour, how many hours were in a day, how many days in a week, week in a month and months in a year.  They answered all of the questions and we wrote them on the board for them to write in their notebook.  Then we asked them when Christmas and New Years was, which they knew right away.  Whoever answered the question would then go put a sticker on the calendar where that day was.  We then asked if they knew when their birthdays were, but they didn’t understand that word so we wrote it on the board and put “birthday: the day that you are born”.  The teacher had to translate for us because they still didn’t know what we were talking about, but after she said something to them they understood.  We asked for volunteers to put a sticker on the calendar of where their birthday was, and of course everyone started going crazy and throwing their hands up because they wanted to use the stickers.  After about 30 students put their birthdays on the calendar, we figured that was enough and we taught them a game of Simon Says.  It was a really good game because they had to listen very closely, but they caught on pretty quickly after the teacher translated some rules for them.  It was also good because we would say “Simon says touch your knees”, and they’d have to remember what knees meant in English.  After that, we had them all sit back down and we passed out construction paper and crayons/ markers.  It’s funny how greedy these kids can get!  We passed out all 96 of the crayons, and then still had about 20 students left so they got markers.  Of course, everyone started grabbing at the markers and they still don’t really understand the concept of “sharing”.  Guess we will have to work on that.  We told them all to draw their favorite animal, and most of them were either fish, giraffe, zebra or chicken.  Some people draw goats and monkeys and I’m telling you, these kids are great artists!  Since they don’t have the supplies, I don’t think art is something they get to do a lot but they are all so talented and they all truly enjoy it.  I wish I had enough materials to give them all to take home, because I think it’s a good distraction for them when the going gets rough.

            After all of our lesson was over, the kids had their break at 11 am where we went outside and played with the jump rope for a little bit.  I went inside because the dust was flying everywhere, and of course 50 students followed me back inside.  It was pretty humorous when I walked back in and realized that all of the stickers had been taken off the calendar.  A quick look around and I saw all of my students with smiley face stickers on their faces and ears.  Haha oh well guess I can’t blame them!  We looked over the picture book for awhile, which our teacher (Onida) had yet to see, and that was so fun!  She was asking so many questions about the pictures and was so excited when I told her that she could keep it for their classroom.  After some more playing and showing of pictures, it had quickly become noon and Katie and I had to heard over to MIE to eat lunch and discuss today.  As we were leaving, Onida told us that we were such great teachers and she couldn’t believe we had never taught before because we were so interactive with the students.  She then told us she wished we didn’t have to leave and that we could teach all the time.  The kids all attacked us with hugs and walked us out the door again. (Just visualize this: 100 plus 5^th graders running up to you and leading you out the door which barely fits three people in it. Bliss.)  Katie and I then headed to MIE, and I was smiling from head to toe.  Today was so successful.

            We ate our sandwiches at MIE and discussed things, but my mind and heart was still completely with my class. I was hoping that my seven little boys would walk by MIE again because I brought extra granola bars for them today.  Sure enough, just as we were leaving to walk to the Demonstration School, there comes Chisisi, Allfu, Robert, Reyo, Henery, Raphael and Yokobe.  I handed them the two granola bars and told them to share, even though they don’t understand the word, but they always share everything so I wasn’t worried about it.  They all blew me kisses and kept thanking me, and then we started heading to the Demonstration School.

            About ten minutes into the walk, I hear “Kelsey! Kelsey!”, we all turn around and there are my seven little boys following me to the Demonstration School.  They all grab my hands and thank me again for the food.  Everyone was just looking at me, and I felt so amazing about the bond I was forming with my students.  We walked about fifteen minutes today, and then Robert ran into the woods and came out a  second later holding a baby bird! I have no idea how the heck he saw the bird from the street, but it must have been no more than a few days old.  I guess this wasn’t anything new to them, because they were all passing it around and putting it in their pockets.  The pictures with it are adorable.  Anyways, we all got to the school and the kids left, all giving me hugs saying they couldn’t wait until tomorrow.  They’ve all opened up to me so much just since Monday and I honestly, truly want to adopt them. (Surprise surprise.)  I seriously don’t know how I am going to say goodbye to them.  I wish I could promise them that I will be back, but I don’t know if that’s true or not.  There’s so much I want to give them and say to them, but I can’t.  Thankfully, I have another 9 days with them and I am going to try to do everything I can for them in that time. For now; peace, love, Malawi. 

3rd day teaching

Wednesday, June 22:

            Today was completely, purely blissful and probably one of the happiest days of my entire life.  Before this trip, the happiest day of my life would consist of gaining the perfect body (no pun intended), scoring the best boyfriend and suddenly being loaded with money.  However, today was the happiest and most perfect day for me because we pulled up to school and you could spot me and Katie’s class from a mile away by the way they were clinging onto their new bags, my children then loved the lesson we taught them and were completely engaged, and I got even closer to my seven favorite little boys, who then all walked me to the other school holding my hands.

            I woke up feeling a lot better this morning, going into today with a positive attitude and telling myself that everything I was freaking out about yesterday wasn’t even an issue in the minds of others.  We headed to the schools were we pulled up to the children screaming “azungo” meaning white people.  It was actually really funny, they were all saying it and cheering.  Our fifth graders who were all calling us by name immediately attacked Katie and me, and it made me feel really special because a lot of the other students still don’t know their teachers names.  A teacher in training came for the first half-hour and taught the kids some math, while me and Katie sat by, fixing broken bags from the day before and handing out the nine notebooks to the boys who didn’t get them yesterday as well as the bags to the three girls.  I immediately felt relieved because now everyone was on the same page.  After the teachers left, Katie and I hung up the calendar that we made (which turned out so well!) and told them all to get out their notebooks that we made them.  We asked them how many minutes were in an hour, how many hours were in a day, how many days in a week, week in a month and months in a year.  They answered all of the questions and we wrote them on the board for them to write in their notebook.  Then we asked them when Christmas and New Years was, which they knew right away.  Whoever answered the question would then go put a sticker on the calendar where that day was.  We then asked if they knew when their birthdays were, but they didn’t understand that word so we wrote it on the board and put “birthday: the day that you are born”.  The teacher had to translate for us because they still didn’t know what we were talking about, but after she said something to them they understood.  We asked for volunteers to put a sticker on the calendar of where their birthday was, and of course everyone started going crazy and throwing their hands up because they wanted to use the stickers.  After about 30 students put their birthdays on the calendar, we figured that was enough and we taught them a game of Simon Says.  It was a really good game because they had to listen very closely, but they caught on pretty quickly after the teacher translated some rules for them.  It was also good because we would say “Simon says touch your knees”, and they’d have to remember what knees meant in English.  After that, we had them all sit back down and we passed out construction paper and crayons/ markers.  It’s funny how greedy these kids can get!  We passed out all 96 of the crayons, and then still had about 20 students left so they got markers.  Of course, everyone started grabbing at the markers and they still don’t really understand the concept of “sharing”.  Guess we will have to work on that.  We told them all to draw their favorite animal, and most of them were either fish, giraffe, zebra or chicken.  Some people draw goats and monkeys and I’m telling you, these kids are great artists!  Since they don’t have the supplies, I don’t think art is something they get to do a lot but they are all so talented and they all truly enjoy it.  I wish I had enough materials to give them all to take home, because I think it’s a good distraction for them when the going gets rough.

            After all of our lesson was over, the kids had their break at 11 am where we went outside and played with the jump rope for a little bit.  I went inside because the dust was flying everywhere, and of course 50 students followed me back inside.  It was pretty humorous when I walked back in and realized that all of the stickers had been taken off the calendar.  A quick look around and I saw all of my students with smiley face stickers on their faces and ears.  Haha oh well guess I can’t blame them!  We looked over the picture book for awhile, which our teacher (Onida) had yet to see, and that was so fun!  She was asking so many questions about the pictures and was so excited when I told her that she could keep it for their classroom.  After some more playing and showing of pictures, it had quickly become noon and Katie and I had to heard over to MIE to eat lunch and discuss today.  As we were leaving, Onida told us that we were such great teachers and she couldn’t believe we had never taught before because we were so interactive with the students.  She then told us she wished we didn’t have to leave and that we could teach all the time.  The kids all attacked us with hugs and walked us out the door again. (Just visualize this: 100 plus 5^th graders running up to you and leading you out the door which barely fits three people in it. Bliss.)  Katie and I then headed to MIE, and I was smiling from head to toe.  Today was so successful.

            We ate our sandwiches at MIE and discussed things, but my mind and heart was still completely with my class. I was hoping that my seven little boys would walk by MIE again because I brought extra granola bars for them today.  Sure enough, just as we were leaving to walk to the Demonstration School, there comes Chisisi, Allfu, Robert, Reyo, Henery, Raphael and Yokobe.  I handed them the two granola bars and told them to share, even though they don’t understand the word, but they always share everything so I wasn’t worried about it.  They all blew me kisses and kept thanking me, and then we started heading to the Demonstration School.

            About ten minutes into the walk, I hear “Kelsey! Kelsey!”, we all turn around and there are my seven little boys following me to the Demonstration School.  They all grab my hands and thank me again for the food.  Everyone was just looking at me, and I felt so amazing about the bond I was forming with my students.  We walked about fifteen minutes today, and then Robert ran into the woods and came out a  second later holding a baby bird! I have no idea how the heck he saw the bird from the street, but it must have been no more than a few days old.  I guess this wasn’t anything new to them, because they were all passing it around and putting it in their pockets.  The pictures with it are adorable.  Anyways, we all got to the school and the kids left, all giving me hugs saying they couldn’t wait until tomorrow.  They’ve all opened up to me so much just since Monday and I honestly, truly want to adopt them. (Surprise surprise.)  I seriously don’t know how I am going to say goodbye to them.  I wish I could promise them that I will be back, but I don’t know if that’s true or not.  There’s so much I want to give them and say to them, but I can’t.  Thankfully, I have another 9 days with them and I am going to try to do everything I can for them in that time. For now; peace, love, Malawi. 

2nd day :) Long post!

Tuesday, June 21:

            Well, today was an extremely challenging and trying day for me; just one of those days where you don’t wake up feeling so hot and then throughout the day things just don’t go as planned. For starters, I woke up feeling really sick again; completely congested and very lethargic.  However, today was the day we were handing out the notebooks and the bags so I was still extremely excited about the events to later come!

            We got to school at the normal 9:15 time and went straight to our classrooms.  Our kids were all so excited to see us, and thankfully the teacher was in today to help us (although most of the time she just sat there and smiled and wasn’t much help with translations).  We handed out their notebooks which we loved, except we were 9 short due to the fact that we had 25 extra students today..leaving us with a whopping total of 105 students.  Since we went from front to back, the 9 who didn’t get notebooks were the group of boys that always sit in the back against the wall.  I felt extremely guilty for not bringing enough, even though yesterday we were promised that the 80 students was our exact class.  We carried on with the lecture, and I gave the 9 boys some loose-leaf paper from my binder but they still didn’t really participate.

            I would read a line of the short story, Katie would then write the line on the board, and then we would have the students repeat the line from the board and write it in their notebooks.  Most of them were so great! Their handwriting was very neat, they stayed in the lines and they understood the words.  It is always the same students that participate, and it’s hard to get others involved when they don’t speak much English and we have 90 other students to focus on.  Anyways, after they all wrote the story we read it outloud together (again, everyone all on different pages academically) and then Katie and I acted out the story to help them better understand.  I am not sure if it worked or not, but at least they got a kick out of Katie and I acting like chickens!  After the story was over, we decided to try to teach them some punctuation, which failed miserably.  All they understood was a question mark, and they couldn’t pronounce “exclamation points”, let alone grasp the concept.  After about 10 minutes of trying to explain quotation marks and exclamation points, we realized we weren’t getting anywhere and the class was growing anxious.  We then handed the class over to the teacher, who continued with their normal lecture.  I sat in that classroom feeling extremely discouraged, and it only grew.

            We took our break at the normal 11 am time, where Allison and I tought them American dance moves, such as the “Bernie”, the “Stanky Leg” and the “John Wall”.  They thought it was absolutely hysterical and we got some pretty great pictures.  As we headed back to our classrooms after break, all of our students were doing the Bernie. Success.  Katie and I then decided to hand out the bags, which I had brought in earlier with one of my suitcases.  The students had been staring at the suitcase all day so they knew they were getting some sort of surprise at the end of the day.  We told them we were about to give them a present and that they had to stay seated or they wouldn’t get one.  Of course, once we pulled the bags out it was complete chaos! We got completely bombarded, kids were screaming and pulling bags out of our hands and the straps of the bags were ripping left and right.  After the bags were all handed out, we realized we were short 3 bags which, again, increased my discouragement, but Katie and I knew there would be a different amount of students every day so there wasn’t going to be a better time to hand them out.  I don’t know which 3 students didn’t get the bags, because if I looked at them I would have cried, but Katie and I are going to try to put together some sort of present for them tonight- as well as making 9 more books that we were short of this morning.   As all the children were holding onto their bags like their most prized possession, they started running up to me and Katie and giving us the biggest hugs telling us they loved us and how thankful they were.  I got really teary eyed as I was completely swarmed by hugs from our class.  The thing is, here in Malawi everyone shares everything.  Whatever they have is scarce, so they grow up learning to share with their friends and their families.  Katie and I felt bad that the rest of the classes weren’t getting as many goodies as our class was, but at the same time a lot of them are siblings and will be able to share the bags.  They will definitely make their way around, and the gratitude our students showed made it all worth it.  Yes, the fact that straps were ripped off of a lot of bags was very upsetting and frustrating, but they are used to fixing things here and I’m sure it will be fixed in no time.

            As we walked over to the college at noon, I was a jumbled mix of emotions and couldn’t really handle it.  I felt guilty that our lesson didn’t work out as planned, I felt so sad that we didn’t have enough books or bags for everyone, I was sick in itself, and I got so anxious thinking about everything I want to give, but can’t give, these children.  Some of them carry around all their belongings in plastic grocery bags they find in the dirt. At home, we go grocery shopping and the bags go straight into the trash!  I just wish I could do everything for these children, and I feel like I’m doing nothing and it’s killing me.  I know this is all my perfectionism coming out, so today was definitely a huge challenge for “Ms. Perfectionism” and I realize how much my perfectionism takes over my emotions.

            After we ate lunch and shared our thoughts from the day, we walked over the Malemia school to get our first drumming lesson! As we walked up the hill, we heard the other students playing the drums, and I got chills all over my body.  It brought me immediately back to Alldredge and just added to the rush of emotions I’ve been feeling today.  I was extremely anxious the whole time we were in the drumming circle learing the lessons, because I just wanted to get up and teach them the songs I know!  It felt so good to drum again and while looking at everyone learning, I remembered so clearly the first time we started drumming at Alldredge and how confused we were.  Finally, at the end, the instructor looked at me and goes “You’ve played before? Haven’t you? Do you have a tune?”  And then I got to teach “Kambusansan” to everyone! I didn’t teach them the chant, or the duet part, just the basic rhthym but it was amazing hearing the song being played again.  I wish we could drum every day here!

            Now, we are back at the Lodge relaxing and showering and then we will work on tomorrows lesson plan.  Dr. Kelly said we are only supposed to be teaching one lesson a day, so it’s okay that we didn’t teach our class the entire time today.  She said whether our lesson takes an hour or the whole 3 hours, that is fine!  That made me feel a little better, but I’m still upset as to how everything played out today.  Hopefully tomorrow I’ll feel better about everything, and just keep reminding myself that these children are all so thankful of everything we are doing for them, whether things go as planned or not.  Talk later, peace, love, Malawi.